I see you got your last check - you're lookin' so depressed
Couldn't handle washin' dishes - you'll be swimmin' with the fishes
You got a girlfriend - she's an ugly lesbian
Afraid to cut your long hair - always thought you wouldn't care
That you couldn't hold a job - your feeble sins will never stop
Think of all the simple joys - of hangin' with the younger boys
Drinkin' up the kool-aid - mama thinks you got it made
You're livin' in the upstairs - time to wash your underwear

Monkey on the gag-reel - tell me how you really feel
Grindin' down your burger brain - standing in the pissy rain
Awful salty pickle dick - you're too flat to call a bitch
Drinkin' down the malto-meal - word is you're the shitheel

You're 40 and you never feel - whether time will ever heal
You're sloppy little stinky ass - never had an ounce of class
Your skate was never any good - silly ridin' goofy foot
You're headed to the bar now - waitin' for your fat cow
Hopin' she will turn a trick - She'll never ever suck your dick
Weak enough to toe the line - suburban little frankenstein
Smokin' all the schwaggy weed - struggle just to bottom feed
Smellin' like a cheesy wheel - got some poopy on your heel

Monkey on the gag-reel - tell me how you really feel
Grindin' down your burger brain - standing in the pissy rain
Awful salty pickle dick - you're too flat to call a bitch
Drinkin' down the malto-meal - word is you're the shitheel